This Is Me Doing The Impossible

Well, I'm sad to say that my Boys of Summer are wrapping up their games for the year.  I can't tell you how much I love being at the ballpark, all hot and sweaty and nervous wreck, watching these handsome fellas. They have worked hard on and off the diamond to improve their skills.   Ninja decided to start working on his pop ups by throwing the ball on the barn roof and catching them.  He improved quickly.  Of course, Little Middle had to join in.  He improved.  Just not so quickly.  A couple of black eyes later he started getting the hang of it.

But even though ball is coming to an end, there is no rest for the weary.  Sweet Yahoo asked for swim lessons this summer, which starts next week.  We start our two week class at.....wait for it.....8:50 in the morning!  Now, on the surface I know this doesn't sound like a big deal.  But let's add in our other extenuating circumstances:  four kids under 10, living 45 minutes from anywhere, and an unnamed person that doesn't believe the sun rises until noon.  I'm not going to say who it is, but I will say she is over the age of 30. 

OK, let's face it.  The biggest obstacle to the early morning classtime has nothing to do with the children, or the distance to drive it. The biggest obstacle is me.

I have been feeling that punch tug in my gut for years that I should be getting up earlier, but I just haven't surrendered to it.  Not to beat myself up, though, I have mastered the art of going to bed earlier.  I have just found that functioning on 9 hours of sleep seems a lot better than functioning on 7.  Anyhow,

I know I know I know 

that so much of my unorganized harried chaos issues that I deal with each day would be nipped in the bud if I would just rise a little earlier and get prepared....mind, body and soul.

I picked up this book the other day to read while Ninja was at ball practice.  It's about how to make the most use of your time.  Not for the purposes of being organized or to get a workout in.  But simply as a wife and mother, if we are really wise this is something that we should be doing.  They went on to flesh out this verse

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,  making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

Eph 5:15-16

Ok, get ready.  The word nerd in me is getting ready to come out.  So the words 'look carefully' there could also mean to look circumvently.  Look all around.  To look ahead at the days to come, behind at the days you've been through.  Inside to your motives.  Along side you to who you are walking with in life.  Look all around you carefully to discern how you should walk, how you should be spending your time.  Where you should be spending your efforts and resources.  I could camp here for a while about how I waste my time and resources on things that are so fruitless.  But I'll save that for later.  Let's move on....

Then, do you see those words 'making the best use of the time'?  That could mean to buy back or redeem.  To redeem my time.  Boy, do I need that!  I have to say that I have been rather wrought with anxiety lately.  For several days I wanted to blame it on everything including the kitchen sink.  But the real problem was that I have not been wise about how I have been spending my time.  Namely, I have been and have been wanting to spend all my time on me and the things I have wanted to get done rather than evaluating what really needs to be done and doing that.  Or where I could be serving and doing that.  And that will always lead to anxiety and frustration. 

 

So here goes.  I putting this out there.  Making myself vulnerable.  I'm just going to say it.....

I'm going to start getting up earlier!

Gulp

Did I say that?

Out loud?  I mean, on virtual paper?

OK, I did.  And it's good.  Because nothing is better for the soul besides confession than a little accountability.  And I needs some good accountability.  Good accountability.  Not the nagging, perky accountability by morning people at 5:30 am calling me asking me if I'm out of bed doing my 30 Day Shred.  But the gentle, leave a comment on the blog, send a card asking me if my alarm clock is working well accountability.

So, no more wasting my life. 

It's time to start getting over myself.  Start saying no to myself.  These days are short and I am fragile and we've got this one life to do this thing right.  And at the end of it all I really don't want to look back and only have to show for it that I got to sleep in until 7:00 am. 

So as you go to bed tonight set your alarm a little louder and say a prayer a little longer for me.  Tomorrow morning should be interesting.