The Crazy You've Come to Expect From Me

Well, I'm happy to report that I'm two weeks into to this whole 'waking up early' thing and it's going remarkably well. Divinely well.  Infact, it's almost like I look forward to the early mornings now.

 Coffee brewing and sunrises and silence. 

These things that I missed before.  Before I would crave the time after the kids went to bed.  The time when I could sit mind numbed in front of a computer screen or tv screen or a mind numbed Honey and unwind from the day.  But now, I crave.  I crave the morning when I can sit and collect my thoughts and give thanks and say prayers.  Read a little.  Prepare. 

The hard part, though?  The hard part is staying up.  By lunchtime I'm ready for a nap.  And by 10 at night I have completely crashed for the day.  But it does seem to be all worth it.  I feel a little more together.  Feel, I tell you.  Not look.  Feel.

Moving on.

So we've had our fair share of crazy stories this week....

It started on Sunday when the Honey left for a painstakingly long short work trip .  Before he left we ate out at a local restaurant that we always vow we will never eat at every time we leave there.  But we ate there.  And we will never eat there again.  Because Ninja and I felt ick all day on Sunday.  We finished eating, said our goodbyes to The Honey and loaded up in the van to go to Nana's to kill some time. 

Travel day is hard on all of us.  Especially when it is a Sunday.  Sundays are for being still and being family.  Not for separations.  But I tried to be sneaky and distract the Yahoos by taking them to Mom's pool.  It didn't work.  They ALL cried the whole ride there.  Well, not all of them.  Baby just kept asking what was wrong with every body.  I on the other hand was a pillar of strength.  I only cried for 15 minutes.

So we did manage to pull ourselves together and begin to swim.  And within the first five minutes Baby decides to run and jump in the pool without a stitch of lifesaving devices on.  For a kid that is no bigger than a peanut he really does sink like a rock.

So much for me not getting my hair wet.  Oh well, at least I did manage to save a life that day. 

So let's take a brief moment to layer the emotions we have going on.  Grief over The Honey leaving, shot nerves over a near death, and the rumblings of food poisoning on the rise.  And so far I've been on my own a total of 2 hours.  I am super excited about what this week has in store.

But we somehow survived Sunday with minimal pouting and no puking.

Monday.  Up by 6, shower, swim lessons, work in the garden, clean house, NAPS!!!!, baseball practice.  Ahh, yes.  Baseball practice.  So the three younger Yahoos and myself are at the playground waaaaaay down at the other end of the ballpark when Baby announces he has to go potty...right now.  I start to gather up our stuff to make the trek back up to the bathrooms but.. too late.  Apparently he too got the food poisoning.  It just showed up a little later than mine and Ninja's.  And in a much messier way.  So as any good Mama does I pack him back to the car, grab my pack of wipes and his extra change of clothes.  I make myself of no reputation as I parade everyone into the bathroom, strip him down and bathe him right there in the sink.  I on the other hand had no change of clothes.  So I tried not to stand too close to anyone after that. 

Tuesday's ulcer moment consisted of Sweet Yahoo praying this prayer:

Dear God - Please let Daddy's meetings go well and help him get to his meetings safetly and please don't let him meet any cute girls.  Amen.

Hmm.

That's....curious.  And wise.  Yes.  I think I will pray that prayer too.

Where's the Tums?

Wednesday.  Up by 6.  Shower, swim lessons, and then all the kids to the sitters because Mama's hitting the big city!!  Watch out!  Sadly I must confess that when The Honey travels I do self soothe by retail therapy.  But a lot of times they are things that add value to the home and make it a haven for my family.  Like flowers and curtains and a cute pair of sandals.   That's good, right?

Right?

Shopping isn't the only reason I had to run to town, though.

 For the past several months me and my band of merry neurologists have been on this wild goose chase to track down why I have been numb on my left side, having some occassional headaches and some other funky symptoms that aren't worth going into.  I have jumped through just about every hoop there is to jump through.  I think the only test they didn't put me through was a prostate exam.

Was that too much?  Sorry.

Wednesday was my judgment day.  The day all of my tests were to be read and the results to be given to me.  I really already had a fairly good idea of what was going on, but it's always nice to hear it out of the professional's own mouth. 

I'm glad to report that I don't have any debilitating disease and that my prostate looks to be just fine. 

***Side note.  I wrote the previous 4 paragraphs Tuesday night before my doctor's appointment because I'm a big fat know it all and think I have everything figured out.  Now that I've actually been to the doctor I'll finish writing what happened.***

First, the doctor's are not worried one bit about my prostate.  Good to know.

Second, I don't have an actual debilitating disease.  But I do have a hole in my heart.  Which  may or may not be causing some of my symptoms.  So it looks like my band of neurologists are passing me off to a band of cardiologists.  Which stinks.  Because I was really hoping that they would say it was stress, I could blame it on the kids,  and they would say I could have a vacation. 

Fail.

And instead of wrapping up months of excrutiating leisurely drives to the big city, I get to keep it up for another month or so. 

On the positive side, Target and I will get to know each other very well. 

Panera, Target and I. 

Gordmans, Panera, Target and I.  OK, I better stop myself. 

Honestly this week seriously needs to end soon because this blog post is entirely too long and I just don't think I can handle any more stories. But The Honey is on his way home shortly and he always makes my world calmer. 

And today.  Today I need some calm.  

Lost in the Little Middle

Oh my poor Little Middle.  Always lurking in the shadows of his older Ninja who seems to always succeed at everything he does (wonder where he gets THAT from) and Baby that simply robs all the attention. 

My poor Little Middle.  Always trying to break out and stand out in this crowd of Yahoos, but consistently living in the shadows that plague the middle children. 

My poor precious Little Middle.  If he only knew how I'm over the moon about him.

But he keeps striving.  Keeps working hard to have a story to tell.  Something fascinating about himself to share with the people he does life with. 

And usually that's not too hard to do.  Because when you have 4 Yahoos and lots of testosterone it doesn't take much to create a story.

Take for instance just this Monday.  A typical Monday.  Our schedule was peppered with swim lessons and cucumber picking and frog petting and, of course, cops and robbers.  And no good game of cops and robbers is complete without a total smackdown taking place.  A few years ago when I heard children being thrown against the wall I usually ran to check on them.  But I'm more experienced these days and I now wait to listen for cries of pain.  Note I say cries of pain and not cries of anger, embarassment, or aggravation.  Granted these are, at times, difficult to differentiate but I have had a lot of practice.  A LOT of practice.  And I have to say I feel rather skilled in the fine art of Cry Identification. 

Moving on.

So I'm waiting for the alarms to signal telling me to come rescue an injured party.   Sure enough, they signal.  And it's Little Middle.  It's always Little Middle.  But this time it's an actual injury.  With real live blood!  Usually I just get the regular ol' bump on the head or punch on the gut.  I have to say I was a little excited. 

Is that bad?  Don't answer that.

Anyway, rushing him to the bathroom to avoid a carpet mess didn't calm him down any.  So now I have blood and a screaming kid.  I mean two screaming kids.  Because Ninja apparantly at this point realized there was a real possibility that things were not going to end up well for him when everything was said and done.  So he just starts repeating what we all start repeating when we are desperate to avoid a punishment:

I didn't mean to!   I didn't mean to!

I don't say anything to him.  I let him panic for a little while.  It's good for his soul.  Trust me.  Anyhow, a few wet papertowels later and a calming word or two and we have a child who is relatively satisfied. 



But do you see what I see in this picture?  I mean, beside this handsome hunk of burning love, I do notice that we have a dangling tooth that has moved right smack dab into the middle of his mouth.  Well, we have GOT to do something about that.  I can't be looking at THAT for another week.  And Little Middle notices too.  And because the last time he lost his tooth you might remember that he lost, um, two at the same time, he decided that that would be a tradition for him.  He would be known as the boy who looses teeth two at a time. 

I gave him the whole 'no one in our family has ever lost two teeth on the same day, let alone two sets of teeth that way.'  Well, that did it.  He was bound and determined to get that sucker out.

And several tugs and a few tears later look what happened

If that's not the look of accomplishment I don't know what is.

And now my poor Little Middle isn't so poor any more.  Because the Tooth Fairy unloaded two bucks for this kid's hard work.  Well, not the actual Tooth Fairy.  The actual Tooth Fairy had had a fairly traumatic day and went to bed early.  So she called in the sub.  Who didn't know that the children like to keep their teeth and so you just put the money in the bag with the teeth.  So in the morning when the teeth were gone and we had to go 'hunting' for them it was a little chaotic.  But it's okay. And the Sub has learned the rules now and so the Tooth Fairy can take more vacation days. 

I digress.

Little Middle.  I'm so happy for him.  And if you see him he loves for you to make him say

Simple Simon sells seashells by the seashore.

because he heard Opie do it on an episode of Andy after he had lost his two front teeth. 

And Little Middle.  If you see him.  He loves for you to ask him to tell you a story.  So sit with him a spell.  He's a good storyteller. 

And Little Middle.  No matter how far down in the middle of the pack he is, he's the apple of my eye.  And not only mine, but we have this promise tucked in the middle of God's precious Letter to us, that He treasures him, and cherishes him, and can't get enough of him.

Keep me as the apple of your eye;
    hide me in the shadow of your wings

Psalm 17:8

And so I hope that I will every day, in every way testify and instill in all my precious Yahoos how deep the Father's love for them really is.  And that no matter where they rank in this world's social pecking order they will never go unnoticed by the One who sets this world in motion. 

My Very Own Incredibles

Do you feel the love?



I sure hope we were able to make The Honey feel loved this Father's Day.  Because he is.  He's adored.  And the smiles on those kids' faces are evidence of it.  We all look forward to the sound of the Big Dodge pulling up the driveway in the evenings.  He makes them laugh, and teaches them respect, and showers them with figure four leg locks and smooches.  And there is no one on the planet that I would rather raise The Yahoos with than this man.  My Man.  This Honey of mine. 

And speaking of good men, I've got this dad.  And he's fantastic.  And the looks on those kids' faces are evidence of it.

He's a coach.

And an encourager.

And patient.

Oh so patient.  Like when little girls can't bait their own hook.  Or when we break the line on all 5 rods that we take fishing .  

He makes sacrifices.  Like getting in the water with The Yahoos when the water is entirely too cold all the while letting me sit on the porch with my feet propped up. 

Yep, I'd have to say.  He's pretty fantastic.

It's funny.  Yesterday was Father's Day, but I feel like I was the one that was blessed. 

This Is Me Doing The Impossible

Well, I'm sad to say that my Boys of Summer are wrapping up their games for the year.  I can't tell you how much I love being at the ballpark, all hot and sweaty and nervous wreck, watching these handsome fellas. They have worked hard on and off the diamond to improve their skills.   Ninja decided to start working on his pop ups by throwing the ball on the barn roof and catching them.  He improved quickly.  Of course, Little Middle had to join in.  He improved.  Just not so quickly.  A couple of black eyes later he started getting the hang of it.

But even though ball is coming to an end, there is no rest for the weary.  Sweet Yahoo asked for swim lessons this summer, which starts next week.  We start our two week class at.....wait for it.....8:50 in the morning!  Now, on the surface I know this doesn't sound like a big deal.  But let's add in our other extenuating circumstances:  four kids under 10, living 45 minutes from anywhere, and an unnamed person that doesn't believe the sun rises until noon.  I'm not going to say who it is, but I will say she is over the age of 30. 

OK, let's face it.  The biggest obstacle to the early morning classtime has nothing to do with the children, or the distance to drive it. The biggest obstacle is me.

I have been feeling that punch tug in my gut for years that I should be getting up earlier, but I just haven't surrendered to it.  Not to beat myself up, though, I have mastered the art of going to bed earlier.  I have just found that functioning on 9 hours of sleep seems a lot better than functioning on 7.  Anyhow,

I know I know I know 

that so much of my unorganized harried chaos issues that I deal with each day would be nipped in the bud if I would just rise a little earlier and get prepared....mind, body and soul.

I picked up this book the other day to read while Ninja was at ball practice.  It's about how to make the most use of your time.  Not for the purposes of being organized or to get a workout in.  But simply as a wife and mother, if we are really wise this is something that we should be doing.  They went on to flesh out this verse

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,  making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

Eph 5:15-16

Ok, get ready.  The word nerd in me is getting ready to come out.  So the words 'look carefully' there could also mean to look circumvently.  Look all around.  To look ahead at the days to come, behind at the days you've been through.  Inside to your motives.  Along side you to who you are walking with in life.  Look all around you carefully to discern how you should walk, how you should be spending your time.  Where you should be spending your efforts and resources.  I could camp here for a while about how I waste my time and resources on things that are so fruitless.  But I'll save that for later.  Let's move on....

Then, do you see those words 'making the best use of the time'?  That could mean to buy back or redeem.  To redeem my time.  Boy, do I need that!  I have to say that I have been rather wrought with anxiety lately.  For several days I wanted to blame it on everything including the kitchen sink.  But the real problem was that I have not been wise about how I have been spending my time.  Namely, I have been and have been wanting to spend all my time on me and the things I have wanted to get done rather than evaluating what really needs to be done and doing that.  Or where I could be serving and doing that.  And that will always lead to anxiety and frustration. 

 

So here goes.  I putting this out there.  Making myself vulnerable.  I'm just going to say it.....

I'm going to start getting up earlier!

Gulp

Did I say that?

Out loud?  I mean, on virtual paper?

OK, I did.  And it's good.  Because nothing is better for the soul besides confession than a little accountability.  And I needs some good accountability.  Good accountability.  Not the nagging, perky accountability by morning people at 5:30 am calling me asking me if I'm out of bed doing my 30 Day Shred.  But the gentle, leave a comment on the blog, send a card asking me if my alarm clock is working well accountability.

So, no more wasting my life. 

It's time to start getting over myself.  Start saying no to myself.  These days are short and I am fragile and we've got this one life to do this thing right.  And at the end of it all I really don't want to look back and only have to show for it that I got to sleep in until 7:00 am. 

So as you go to bed tonight set your alarm a little louder and say a prayer a little longer for me.  Tomorrow morning should be interesting.

Green Thumbs and Other Summer Accomplishments

I hadn't realized how long it had been since I had written.  Shewwee!  This summer is flat flying bye. 

We've been busy doing this





and this

and this

 We've been having fun and making lots of memories. We still have several things to cram into the last few weeks of our summer break.  But the beauty of homeschooling is that our school board can spontaneously decide to extend summer break indefinitely so I'm not feeling too stressed that the fun has to end any time soon!

Actually, there were so many things that I wanted to do this summer that there was no way to get them all done.  Most of the personal downfalls in my life come from unrealistic expectations.  I had big plans for our summer hiatus.  Long reading lists, visiting friends, organizing the home, running some 5Ks.  OK, running A  5K.   Anyway, you get the point.  But I soon realized that I just can't do it.  Or at least I just can't do it all.  So after I pulled myself up off the floor from my hissy fit, I decided to put my big girl panties on and pick a few things to do and try to do them well. 
 
So I put my library card away and picked up the grubbing hoe.  Let me just say this......I do not have a green thumb.  But, I am determined to find my way around some white half runners and peaches and cream corn.  I have so much to learn about gardens.  But I have hope that I will one day be the little old lady that is bringing you more tomatoes that you know what to do with.  In the meantime I read the Farmers Almanac, I listen to old men in straw hats, and I check weather.com far more than I used to. 

My most wonderful Pawpaw Peanut

But even if one ear of corn doesn't pop up, it has all been worth it because I  have had the best time with Little Middle by my side.  He has been my biggest helper.  He has chosen...chosen I say.....to help in the garden while the other Yahoos are out playing.  He goes and checks the status of the peppers and cucumbers every day and gets so tickled to see progress.  I love it.  I definitely know what side of the family he takes after.