This morning I managed to get in a workout. I have to be pretty desperate to get up early to sweat. My body doesn't usually look alive until after lunch. Regardless, I pulled myself out of bed and went down to the dungeon to sweat it out for a few miles. To help me forget the pain make the time go by faster I stuck in an oldie but goody....Facing the Giants. I'm a sucker for feel good sports movies.
And I love how God can use something so ordinary, something we've seen or listened to a million times, to say something new and fresh to us.
I have to admit that lately I have been struggling. Weary and worn and worrisome. My attitude has been less than pleasant. I've been focusing a lot of my circumstances. Task oriented, not relationship oriented. You know the drill. And most of it centers around my occupation....Motherhood.
I'm going to be real here for a minute. There are days this job is hard. Where I feel outnumbered and out of ideas on how to control this circus I'm running. And I had those days this week month. I felt defeated. Before I got out of bed in the morning I had decided it was going to be a bad day because I knew I was going to have to face whining kids, or referee more arguments, or answer the same questions about size and strength and girth of all the Avengers that I have answered for the past 176 previous days.
So there I was this morning. Trying to escape from my calling. When Jesus up and showed up in the middle of a movie right as I was crossing the 2 mile marker on the elliptical machine. Take a watch and see if you find Him.
Some days I wish I had a coach to walk beside me and scream in my face. Most days I do have someone screaming in my face. But he is 3 and small and too demanding. Not the coach I'm looking for. No, I wish I had someone screaming at me not to give up To force me to do my best. To leave it all on the field. Some days my Still Small Voice needs a megaphone.
And I know when I get to that point....when His voice is drowned out my by self-pity....that He hasn't stopped coaching. I've just stopped listening.
The grand total weight of all my children is 160 lbs. And like Brock doing his death crawl, I am carrying these Yahoos across the field....hopefully to the end zone. And just like Brock, I am blindfolded. I can't see the hurdles I am going to have to eventually cross of how much longer I have to go. All I have are these hungry souls clinging to me and the Holy Spirit coaching me on.
So today I am putting my game face on. That, and singing this hymn:
I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford
I need thee every hour, stay Thou nearby
Temptations lose their power
When Thou art nigh
I need thee, oh, I need thee, every hour I need Thee
I need thee, I need thee, I need Thee every hour
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