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Thursday, June 27, 2013

My Death Crawl


This morning I managed to get in a workout.  I have to be pretty desperate to get up early to sweat.  My body doesn't usually look alive until after lunch.  Regardless, I pulled myself out of bed and went down to the dungeon to sweat it out for a few miles.  To help me forget the pain  make the time go by faster I stuck in an oldie but goody....Facing the Giants.  I'm a sucker for feel good sports movies. 
 
And I love how God can use something so ordinary, something we've seen or listened to a million times, to say something new and fresh to us.
  
I have to admit that lately I have been struggling.  Weary and worn and worrisome.  My attitude has been less than pleasant.  I've been focusing a lot of my circumstances.  Task oriented, not relationship oriented.  You know the drill.  And most of it centers around my occupation....Motherhood. 
 
I'm going to be real here for a minute.  There are days this job is hard.  Where I feel outnumbered and out of ideas on how to control this circus I'm running.  And I had those days this week  month.  I felt defeated.  Before I got out of bed in the morning I had decided it was going to be a bad day because I knew I was going to have to face whining kids, or referee more arguments,  or answer the same questions about size and strength and girth of all the Avengers that I have answered for the past 176 previous days. 
  
So there I was this morning. Trying to escape from my calling.  When Jesus up and showed up in the middle of a movie right as I was crossing the 2 mile marker on the elliptical machine.  Take a watch and see if  you find Him.






  Some days I wish I had a coach to walk beside me and scream in my face.  Most days I do have someone screaming in my face.  But he is 3 and small and too demanding.  Not the coach I'm looking for.  No, I wish I had someone screaming at me not to give up  To force me to do my best.  To leave it all on the field.  Some days my Still Small Voice needs a megaphone.
 
And I know when I get to that point....when His voice is drowned out my by self-pity....that He hasn't stopped coaching.  I've just stopped listening.
 
The grand total weight of all my children is 160 lbs.  And like Brock doing his death crawl, I am carrying these Yahoos across the field....hopefully to the end zone.  And just like Brock, I am blindfolded.  I can't see the hurdles I am going to have to eventually cross of how much longer I have to go.  All I have are these hungry souls clinging to me and the Holy Spirit coaching me on.
 
So today I am putting my game face on.  That, and singing this hymn:
 
I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford
 
I need thee every hour, stay Thou nearby
Temptations lose their power
When Thou art nigh
 
I need thee, oh, I need thee, every hour I need Thee
I need thee, I need thee, I need Thee every hour 

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