Playing Our Song

My darling Honey.

Today we mark 15 years together.

I think of our marriage as a dance.  All these 15 years.  Me and you.  Dancing.

Somedays it's a graceful waltz.  Other days...the Funky Chicken.

But most days we are somewhere in the middle.  The Beautiful Mess dance that we have perfected so well.

I love being the Ginger to your Fred Astaire.  I love you and your two left feet.  I love you when you don't know the next move so we just hold each other here on our dance floor.  I love you when you glide me sure and strong through these best days of our lives. 

I love the security our ever after story is giving The Yahoos.  I love how you make them grimace when you kiss me in the kitchen.  I love the butterflies I get in my stomach when I hear you pull in the driveway.  I love making you smile when I say something witty or getting to bandage your bloody wounds.  I will never tire taking care of you.

Because I'm thankful.  Thankful for you and your love and these children you've given me. 

You are the best days of my life.

Now, let's turn up the music.  They're playing our song.

Happy Anniversary, Honey. 

Prodigal Mom

There's something about Mother's Day that renders me speechless.

The reminder that I have been blessed with so much.

A wonderful mother.

And wonderful others.  Other women who have held the line for me, praying and advising and encouraging along the way.

And then these guys. 

I almost have to look away.

Because I remember

When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.

Luke 12:48

And most days I feel like the prodigal mom.

Sacrificing the permanent at the altar of the immediate.

Selfishly chasing empty pursuits that leave me spiritually bankrupt and emotionally exhausted.

Losing it over lost shoes and scattered Lego pieces and short words.  Because I often find myself bowing down at the altars of Clean House and Peace and Quiet.

All the while these four beauties are waiting for me to show them what this gospel truth and grace I keep talking of is all about. 

And the gospel truth is this:  He came saving sinners, even this sinner.  And more than that.  He gives life abundant.  And my abundant life is being a wife to one and a mother to these wonderful ones.

So Mother's Day, for me, is not a day where I feel I should be honored.  Quite the opposite.  Mother's Day keeps me mindful of how unworthy I am.  But thankfully my worth doesn't stop His lavish pouring of love and beauty and grace into this prodigal's life.

Alright.  Enough with the sappiness.  Somebody come take me out to eat already.....:)

The Yahoos And A Cow

So this morning I woke up and thought we might clean a little and mow the yard.


But instead we bought a calf.

The Honey said I must have baby fever pretty bad if I am gitty over bottle feeding a cow.

I have instructed the Yahoos, however, that this animal is not a pet.  We will not be naming him.  We will not be looking him in the eye.  It is very difficult to look down at your plate and eat up Oreo or Precious of whatever they are itching to name this thing. 

And I feel like a first time mom. Because I had to call my grandmother and ask her about how much he should be eating and what his poop should look like and that I didn't think he was pooping enough.

 I remember being that first time mom a decade ago.  And we supplemented for the first time and Ninja didn't "go" for a whole 10 hours and I called my pediatrician and woke him up at 5:00 am panicked and hysterical  curious as to what he thought about the situation. The miracle of that was that he kept us on as patients.  And eventually the child did poop.

I feel that I keep venturing into the land of 'I have no idea what I'm doing'  Marriage, children, homeschooling, gardening, farming.  All of these things do not come to me naturally.  I thought they would. I had big dreams of being a wife and mother and maybe even the farmer's wife.  But to be honest it has taken lots of time and even more mistakes for me to get the hang of this life that has been carved out for me.

And this life is fun.  Crazy and fun.  And I'm glad I didn't have a whole lot of say into the direction my life would take.  Because to be honest I'm kind of boring.  And have very little ambition.  So if it were left up to me I probably wouldn't have accomplished anything in this life for being afraid or lazy.  But thankfully God is sovereign.  His plans for us will not be frustrated by our abilities or lack thereof.  I am a testiment to that.  Because this Mama's abilities are.....limited.  But He keeps giving me opportunities to experience His grace.  And that makes this life colorful and provides the fodder we needs for lots of funny stories.

And I'm sure this cow...Precious or Oreo...or Cheeseburger ..whatever it's name is... will be the source of lots of Yahoo stories.