Lego My Idol

So today was hard.

And I don't do hard things.

That's what The Honey is for.

But today The Honey was doing his CIA thing so the only one left here was me.

So there I am blogging away about how I should do the next right thing when I hear two cute as a button heathens killing each other over the idol of all idols.....Legos.

Can I take a moment to explain the sacredness of the Lego in this home? 

I am ashamed to admit that we have a room in our house devoted to them.  Granted it is a small room in the basement.  And also, to assuage me of any more guilt, the room serves a necessity.  Because Legos were getting scattered everywhere and we were constantly hunting down Yoda and his lightsaber.  And if you've ever had to find a Lego figure lightsaber it is excrutiatingly painful to the point that you ain't finding that thing unless The Force is literally with you so you  might as well pack it up and drive all the way to Walmart and buy another blasted light saber rather than searching through your entire house on hands and knees with a Yahoo asking you every 11 seconds if you have found it yet really hard.  So I banished all Legos to the dungeon in the basement.  And during "recess" the kids go and play with them.

And then there is Baby.  Baby is 3 now and 3 is hard.  Because he wants to do big kid stuff.  But he is 3.  And he loses things.  Like Yoda's lightsaber.  But the big Yahoos all generously loaned him their junk extra figures.  But Baby.  He's 3.  And never satisfied. 

So I heard Baby and Little Middle starting to fight over them.  And I really did try to let them work it out on their own.  But once I heard the blood curdling screams and what could have been a kick to the ribs I decided to investigate.

So in my sage, experienced Mommy-dom I calmly walked downstairs and silently picked up their Legos and proceeded to box them all back up.  I've had to do this once before.  They had been fighting over them so I locked them away for a week.  Don't mention it to them, though. They're scarred from it.

Moving on.  So I pick them up, box them away and proceed to lock them up. 

Well you would have thought I was on a crusade to rape and pillage their Lego village.  The panic and begging and pleading and falling out on the floor was a sight to behold.  It was.....okay, it was actually a little funny.  But I couldn't laugh.  So I put on my disappointed face.  And kids were hyperventilating and slamming doors and screaming things like

'Please, Mommy, don't!'

But in their hearts they were saying things like

'I hate your stinking guts!'

 

But you will be glad to  know that I stuck to my guns and locked them up and calmly tried to talk them down.  All of them.  All four of them.  I couldn't hear myself talk because they were screaming so loudly.  Two of them had run to their rooms and one was clinging to my leg and one was trying to pry his grubby paws around the Lego room door to get it opened.

 

And then there was me calmly telling them to get control of themselves.

 

But they didn't hear me.  Because of the screaming.

 

This is Baby's reenactment of the events that unfolded

Surprsinginly Little Middle was the worst.  I for real could not get this kid to settle.  So I opened up the door outside and had him stand there until he could pull himself together.  So there he stood.  In the snow.  Barefoot.  And without a coat. 

 

Don't tell his grandmothers.

 

Now I will say at this moment I did have some reservations that maybe  I had been too hard and maybe  I should let him throw his fit in the house.  But I couldn't think about that now because I needed to go upstairs to get two of the four calmed down enough to come back downstairs so we could start our obviously overdue Bible study.

 

But while I am up there with them I hear Baby screaming in the basement.  Not the 'I want my idol back' scream but more the 'Get this dog off me' scream.  So I run BACK down there to find that Baby had opened the door outside because he saw Little Middle out there crying and in the process let the dog in who then started jumping up on him.  So now I'm screaming 'Get the dog out!' and Little Middle is screaming 'I'm cold!' and Baby is screaming 'I want to go outside!'

Then the dog was let out but the crying continued.  Sweet Yahoo was crying because she thought she was in trouble and Ninja was crying because I had been too hard on Little Middle and Little Middle was crying because he obviously loves Legos more than Jesus and Baby was crying because everyone else was crying and I was crying because I couldn't find any chocolate. 

 

Finally, after some heavy soul searching we found the problem.

 

There was a great big stinkin' idol in our heart.

And also, after some more heavy searching, I found the chocolate.  I forgot I had hidden it under the broccoli.  Ain't nobody looking for it there.

So today was hard.

Because idols must be destroyed.  Mine and theirs.  And idol destruction is slow and painful.  No matter how big your lightsaber. 

I got a feeling I need to go stock up on some Reese Cups.