Herdmans

So the other day I informed The Honey about the Elf on The Shelf craze.

He stays somewhat behind on world changing cultural trends like this.

I have to admit, I just don't get it. 

This elf, I mean.  He's a little high maintenance, don't you think?.  He's always hiding and needing to be found.  He creates messes that he doesn't clean up himself.  And he's a tattle tale. 

Honestly, I already have 4 Yahoos that keep me busy with those kind of high maintanence issues.

Not to be a complete stick in the mud.  I think I could totally get into this whole Elf on The Shelf thing.  I would just tweak it a little.

First he would no longer be called Elf on The Shelf.  Instead I am thinking Elf in the Laundry room or Elf at the dishwasher.  My elf is a servant.  He always has a mop in his hands and loves to clean up OTHER people's messes.  He also is a giver.  A giver of iTunes gift cards and freshly brewed coffee in the morning and foot massages at night.

Why can't we market THAT  kind of elf?

Nope.  This family has chosen to forego Elf on The Shelf.  Just don't tell Baby about him.  I have a feeling he would love it.

Baby:  A complete disaster

Speaking of Baby.

The other night we were on our way to drop the van off at the mechanic.  Because the transmission went out.

 Merry Christmas to me. 

So we're driving when he starts talking something about a pond.  Here's how this lenthy, but entertaining, exchange went.

Baby:  You know that pond at our house?

Me:  No.  What pond?

Baby:  The one by the road we throw rocks in.

Me:  Ah yes.  That's not our pond.

Baby:  Yeah, our pond.  Our pond is deep.

Me:  Is it?

Baby:  Yes.  If you get in it you will get dead.

Me:  Oh my.

Baby:  Do you want to get dead?

Me:  Hmmm.....no.

Baby:  Why don't you want to get dead?

Me:  Because I love being your mama and I want to keep being your mama.

Baby:  If you get dead Daddy will have to go to the store and buy a new mama.

Me:  **no words**

Baby:  Do you still want to get dead?




I love Baby.  He always knows how to put things in perspective for me.  Like the other day when he said Jesus was mean and might come down from Heaven to bust his head. 

I know I know, some of you might be appauled at that talk.  And maybe it is flirting with the sacrilege line a bit.  But if we were all honest, isn't that what we are?   A bunch of irreverents.

Tonight I took the Yahoos to see the play of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.  We read the book last year and cracked up.  At least I did.  Because it's so true.  If you haven't read it, here's the gist.

Six heathens named The Herdmans crash a Christmas Pageant at a local church. These children are so bad they make my Yahoos look like Mother Theresa.  The church members are all up in arms as to what to do because they've apparantly never had sinners be shepherds or a miscreant be the Virgin Mary.  And in the chaos that insues these 6 kiddos get to hear the Gospel story for the first time. 

The first time I read the book I was pretty certain I was the church members.  I am all Nose in the Air, Finger Pointer, Gossip Spreader.  But then we left the theatre.  And I had to tell Baby to stop turning off the stage lights and Ninja to stop wrestling with boys he didn't know and Little Middle and Sweet Yahoo to stop acting like goofballs.  And then it hit me.

 We are the Herdmans. 

 We are irreverent and ignorant.  We're rough and unloving and unloveable.  We say harsh words and stick our tongues out at each other.  And we need to hear that Gospel story one more time. 

And we do.  And God graciously illuminates himself between the pages of His Word and we can see Him for who He is and us for who we are.  Herdmans. 

Jesus.  He blows me away.   Holiness wrapped some flesh around himself and came to befriend me.  Unloveable, hateful me.  And you. 

THAT, my friend, is the Christmas Miracle.