Goodbye Baby

So we have decided to start remodeling our kitchen.

We're two days into the process. 

I think I'm ready to quit.

Because perserverence isn't my strong suit.  That or thankfulness.   Or patience.  Okay, let's not go down this road.  Anyway.....

Yes, the joys of remodeling. Especially right before Christmas. When I'm baking  a lot.

Not to complain. Because this was totally my idea. See, when you have WHITE tile floors and WHITE tile bars and four Yahoos your kitchen tends to appear a little dirty. By that I mean that I need to mop Every.Single.Day. Need to, mind you. I don't actually do it.

Have I mentioned The Honey can do anything? 

See this guy wants nothing more than to please me.  So he gives me the liberty to make any decision I want about how the design of this whole thing will go and no matter what obstacles come with that he is determined to give me what I want. 

And I'm madly in love with this man.  Yes.  This man.  The one outside with boots and shorts and a tv.

And have I mentioned that this guy is el cheapo?   Which really drives me nuts at times because time is money, but in the long run I have to be thankful.  Not because I feel  thankful, but just because I'm suppose to be.  Because I still sometimes worry that if I'm not thankful something really horrible might happen to me like the dishwasher will go out or the van will quit  love to be obedient that way.

Oh! Did I mention my van quit?  Yep, the transmission went out. 

Pfft.

So all of us have been piled into my mom's truck.  Of which I am eternally grateful for but if I don't get all these Yahoos back into a minivan soon I might just drive myself straight into a Dairy Queen window and start screaming crazy demands like double reese cup Blizzards.

These are just a few minor glitches in my overall fairly tale life. 

Because I do have these incredible Yahoos.

And then there is this guy.

And we are excited about the newest addition to our family.




This girl. 

Her name is Cocoa.


You thought for a minute I was going to say I was pregnant, didn't you?  Come on, admit it.  You thought I was! 


Well so what  if I did?  Because I have to admit I have baby fever.  Several friends or family members or complete strangers walking through Walmart parking lot have new babies.  And they are so crazy cute. 

Have I ever mentioned how I hate endings? 

Goodbyes stink.  And I am just hating saying goodbye to pacifiers and burp rags and mylicon drops and first smiles and first words and first steps.

I know most of the world thinks I'm crazy for even thinking of another baby.  And I think I might be in that group at times too.  The group that thinks I'm crazy.  Because honestly some days are hard.  Not like heavy hard.  Because I'm not dealing with anything heavy hard like financial ruin or death or dismemberment.  My trials are honestly so trivial.  But any work is hard.  And my work is raising kids and sometimes that is hard.  And most normal people wouldn't want to voluntarily add to that.   

But I sometimes do.  This aching I have, though, isn't necessarily because I need more children.  I really think it is more because I am grieving the goodbye.  The end of maternity clothes and feeling the baby kick for the first time and hearing the doctor say 'It's a boy!' 

Because these....these are the good ol' days. 

And the kids are outgrowing the swingset and there is no more teething tablets needed and there isn't a need to go down the baby aisle in Kroger.  Sometimes, though, I take a stroll through there just for the fun of it.  To linger in the smell of newborn baby.

Yes, I have truly loved being a mom to these babies of mine.  And they were good babies.  They were fun and funny and curious.  And they taught me how to be humble and happy.    I've learned that the memories of late night feedings and middle of the night fevers are just as precious as the hugs and kisses that follow.  And they have been the catalyst to me becoming a better version of myself.

Nope, these Yahoos aren't babies anymore.  Not even toddlers.  These days I am trading in car seats for ball gear.  And I'm okay with that.  Or at least I'm learning to be okay with that.  Because there are new memories to be made and more good days to be shared.  And I can relate to the Proverbs 31 woman in that.

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

Proverbs 31:25