My Soybean Cowboy

There he goes. 

Riding off into the sunset.

My soybean cowboy.

His horse of choice is his combine.

(His toys are by far the biggest of everyones.)

Yes, we are the new proud owners of a this International.

Scary, I know.

I never saw my life turning out this way.

Me.  The farmer's wife.  Raising the farmer's children.

Most days we have no idea what we're doing. 

Him raising his corn and beans and me raising up these hungry souls needing to be fed.

We stumble our way through life most days.  Juggling responsibilities and returned phone calls and overflowing laundry baskets. 

Some days are hard.  And scary. 

                                                                    Should we buy more land? 
                                                      
       Should we give more and save less? 

                                                  Should we have the surgery or take the long term medicine? 

           
          How can we love The Unloveable One without getting ourselves heartbroken.


What do we do?  How do we make the choice between better and best?

And then this:

 Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
 He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
 All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.

 

Psalm 25:8-10

 

 

Ahhh, yes.  I needed that.  That promise that This Great God of ours never minds to gently teach us.
 
Us sinners.

And what better reassurance than to know that ALL His ways are love and faithfulness?  Yes, that promise might have been just for me. 

Me.  His sceptical, untrusting, always-questioning-your-ulterior-motive kid.

But our Father has no ulterior motive.  Just this:  That all things He brings our way will be both for our good and His glory.

And he somehow works those things out masterfully.  And that promise helps me not to try harder, but to surrender willingly.  Surrender to His plan for my life.  Whatever He brings our way or withholds from us. 

So now I can take a deep breath and stop strategizing and planning and researching what the best decisions are for me and my family.  Instead I fold my hands and bow my head and heart to the One who already has all the answers.  And give thanks that He still answers sinners like me.

Then at the end of the day I get to fall into bed blanketed in His graces and sweet dreams of mercies made new every morning. 

Me and My Soybean Cowboy.