This Is Me Getting A Job

So an opportunity has risen for me to get a job.

Not like a real job where I have to go to work every morning, day after day, for 20+ years to put food on the table.  No.  Rather a part time, temporary, flexible hours, total of 15 shifts where by I could earn a little extra money.

What, you may ask, would motivate me to put some extra crazy into our already lively lifestyle?

Is it to help make ends meet?  To help pay for my kids' college?  To give to missions?

Nope. Nope. And.....nope.

In a word....LASIK.

I'm blind people.  Honestly, my vision is right up there with.....other nearly blind people.  And for 20 years I have been hassling contacts, glasses, squinting at the blinding sun, scrambling to find my glasses in the middle of the night just like Velma on Scooby Doo when some sick kid comes crying at me.  And so I had enough already.

I wish I could say starving children or college tuition motivated me.  Sadly, I am realizing that convenience is a much more juicy carrot.

Really though, this was a difficult decision to make.  I don't like things that are out of my comfort zone.  And getting up more than one morning a week to put on something besides yoga pants is outside the realm of my comfort zone.  The children also crossed my mind.  But I realized there are some pros to stepping outside the confines of this Crazy Town that I am mayor of.

1.  The gift of sight.  I believe we have already covered that.

2.  Becoming more appreciate.  Of me.  Seriously the children are going to have to appreciate me after all this is over.  Because who will be supervising them while I'm away?  None other but The Honey.  The Honey, I'm tellin' ya.  This is the same man that lectured our first born when he was 6 months old on why it is entirely inappropriate to yell at your toys.  Also....the same man who dropped Sweet Yahoo on her head when she too was six months old because he liked flipping her around like he was making pizza dough.  Also....the same man who took 'Life Skills' in high school to meet chics, or 'managed' the girls basketball team to also meet chics, OR had a pole vaulter shaved into the back of his hair in college To.Meet.Chics, or continues to dance The Running Man....on purpose.  For the love of peet.  You get my point.  So after 15 days they are surely to appreciate their normal, rational, stabilizing force of a mother.

3.  Different mouth sounds.  I am anxious to see what it is like to go 8 straight hours without hearing someone yell 'Someone come wipe my butt!' from the bathroom.  Surely that won't happen, right?  I refuse to wipe anyone else's butt just because I'm good at it.  No, instead, I'd like to broaden my skills.  To find out what it's like to talk to adults for over 23 seconds without shushing someone or giving 'The eye'.

Don't get me wrong.  I am aware of the sacrifices that will have to be made.  The laundry and dishes are sure to suffer.  The children will probably end up watching way more Shake it Up and GI Joe than any normal person should watch in a lifetime.  But again...it's 15 days people.   We can do this thing.  Our little family can all rally together and come completely unglued so that Mama can see.  It's gonna be like Mary on Little House when she got her glasses for the first time.  I honestly think I'm gonna yell out

"I can see, Pa!  I can see!"

Just to clarify, though, for those that don't know me well.  I sometimes cope through self-deprecating humor with a touch of sarcasm thrown in.  

And this is me coping.  Because getting this temporary job is a big marker in my life.  And to be completely honest....I am overwhelmingly sad about it.

For 11 years now I have stayed at home with my babies.  And I love it.  I really do.  Because even on the worst days I still have the satisfaction of knowing I got to teach them that fractions are not quite so brutal. Or those few weeks we helped Little Middle say his 'l' sound rather than 'w' and he gradually went from saying Carowine to Caroline.  Or the hundreds of times we played duck duck goose or hide and seek.  Or having Baby do dishes beside me at the sink.  It is beyond words fantastic.

Defeating the pudding cup

And after 11 years of this I had kind of felt like I had obtained my doctorate in  preschoolers.  I understood the process of teaching phonics and tying shoes.  I had developed the uncanny skill of knowing the difference between an 'I need stitches' cry and a 'I need a hug' one.  I embraced Curious George and pudding cups as our afternoon past time.  I became good at my craft.

But tomorrow.  Driving away from home.  I'll be laying down the pudding cups and crayons for a while.  A painful reminder that I am soon retiring from this profession of Preschooldom.  And moving on into something new.  Something foreign.  More than just a job, these days will usher in for me that I am now a mom to tweens.  Tweens....already.  I can't even believe it.  And I am certainly not a professional at it.  I am starting out at the ground level here.  

Leaving behind the known for something unfamiliar is hard for me.  I used to love starting new stuff.  I got bored easily and restless.  After a few moves and a few more babies and all the changes that come along with that I soon realized that it is never as difficult as we think it is.  And every new opportunity presents new challenges.  A constant reminder we must rely on Jesus to get us through.  

So it seems that is how me and my family will make it through the next 15 shifts....and 15 years after that.  Us and Jesus.  One unfamiliar journey after another.  And in the end we will have new sight.  Just of the eternal kind. 

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

Isaiah 42:6